Oh My Thai!
My new year’s resolution is already off to a rocky start (I wanted to upload a new blog post every Thursday). My apologies that I’m almost two weeks late - I think my ADHD procrastination got the best of me, again! Before we begin I feel like this is the part where I put a disclaimer in about somewhat inappropriate content, so fair warning!
Thailand. Where do I even start? One word that describes the entire country as a whole (in my opinion) - raunchy. The people are well um interesting, their are unique laws that you would never guess, and even the clothing they sell in their local stores are cheugy… it’s like they never left the early 2000s. Oh gosh, I feel like everything I’m about to divulge is going to make my Instagram posts from the trip look so fake, but just know that despite what I’m about to say, the trip wasn’t a total flop.
So the thing about Thailand is this: if you stay at a resort or at one of the beautiful islands (like Koh Samui), then you’re golden. Just don’t leave! Once you step outside of the resort or the touristy bubble you’re in, you’ll be exposed to the real Thailand, and in my opinion it’s just not that great nor worth it. However, say you don’t care much for the resort life when going on holiday, that’s fun too! Although, I do not suggest going for more than a week. There just isn’t much to do besides drinking on the beach and learning muay thai. But, the nightlife is nuts. Not like Vegas nuts where it’s elegant clubbing and super expensive and everyone is dressed to the nines, but nuts in the sense that there are lady-boys everywhere and you may or may not meet an escort named Apple (true story for another time).
Common misconception of Thailand, their food is amazing - NOT. Picture this: you go to a restaurant at a somewhat rachet looking place. A moody waiter/waitress seats you at your table handing you four different menus, each one of them larger than the last.
Fun Fact: You cannot buy alcohol in Thailand from 2PM-5PM. Our first week in Phuket fell on Halloween weekend. Having a smidge bit of FOMO, Taylor and I decided to go out to Bangalang Road (the main nightlife road). Of course, we had to grab alcohol, so we went to a local grocery store, Lotus, to grab the essentails and booze. When we were finally done and checking out, the cashier gave us a weird look and took the bottle away and put it off to the side. Puzzled, we asked her why and she didn’t say anything. It was so confusing. Eventually she tells us the prohbition rule and it all made sense. I literally carried that vodka around like an idiot in the store and all the locals were probably thinking what a dumb tourist. Later that day, we had to come back and get what we intially came for.
Another fun fact: Vaping is illegal. This one got me because for a country that is super into weed and the more rachet things of life I was truly shocked. I mean they literally have a 50 year ban going on alcohol because people were drinking too much and showing up to work drunk. This brings me to my next story… so Taylor and I will occassionally parktake in vaping while we drink (sheesha also works too)! So we were at this local rum distillery taking a tour of it (Chalong Bay… super yummy), and we see one of the workers with a Relx (the main vape in Southeast Asia) and we’re like woah where did you get that. She explains to us where she got the goods from and it turned out it was right next to the place we got groceries everyday. One day, we decide to go. We pull up on the moped to this hole-in-the-wall place with frosted windows. There was a sign that read no phones and no shoes allowed inside. The first time we went I didn’t go because I was timid to partciptiate in light black-market activity, so Taylor took one for the team. He was in there for 15 minutes. I was freaking out the whole time because he wasnt responding to my texts and I didn’t know there was a no phone rule. He eventaully comes out, stuffs the vape pods in our bag and immediately drives away. I go, “what the hell took so long?” Apparently there was a line and the workers in there were trying to make conversation. But gosh, it was such a sketchy thing we did and kept doing.
We all know the signature smell of mary-ju-wana. Thai weed smells like woodsy, earthy, and surprisingly herbal. Before you get too many ideas, no Taylor and I did not partake in this recreational past-time. The first time I smelled weed was at Taylor and I’s apartment we were renting and our neighbor was smoking. I loudly go, “What is that horrible smell?” Taylor answers me and I heard the sliding door shut next door. Their smell of Thai weed is oddly earthy and yucky. Taylor and I both do not partake in weed, but I will say that the smoking culture is super a thing here. There are dispensaries all over the place, all with funny names, like Smoker Things.
